Janet Fox (right) and me with PFLAG's handsome escort, Danny

When I first arrived in DC, the day after driving from Detroit, Oct. 11, the National Equality March was happening downtown. I walked a block down from our hotel and found the PFLAG contingent and walked with them. PFLAG, as you may know, stands for Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. I’ve been to only a couple of PFLAG meetings, in Ann Arbor, but they were important to me.

In October, I didn’t know anybody at the march, but PFLAG is a friendly group and they welcomed me. Cuz that’s what they do! I met Janet Fox, a fellow Hoosier, also transplanted to DC, who has since become a good friend. When it came time for the DC Pride Parade, June 13, we were happy to walk with Janet and her husband Tom in the PFLAG group. The parade was great people-watching. There were the politicians — pretty much all the DC council members were there, each with their own color-coded beads and candy. “Congresswoman” Eleanor Holmes Norton was there. Zip Cars was there, with rainbow-colored Minis. “Some of our best cars are gay,” their sign said. Frito-Lay was there, handing out free samples of Sun Chips and Doritos. There were great floats, drag queens, wigs, high heels, feathers and motorcycles. The crowd was huge, 10 deep around Dupont Circle, even though you didn’t read about it in the Post.

The DC PFLAG contingent, in contrast, was a bunch of middle-aged folks, wearing beads and some carrying signs saying we’re proud of our kids. (We also had a really incredible-looking shirtless young man walking with us. Awestruck bystanders of all persuasions, including a uniformed DC cop, had their photos taken with him.)

What was really astonishing to me was the reception PFLAG got. We heard huge applause. We got scores and scores of high-fives. A young woman jumped from the crowd and hugged me, which made me cry. A man kissed Janet’s hand and thanked her, which made her cry. What does it all mean? Saying we’re proud of our kids doesn’t seem that different than the bumper stickers bragging on our honor students. In fact, our LGBT kids are those same honor students. They’re still smart, challenging, vulnerable and loving. The only difference is that now we know their sexual orientation, or perhaps gender identity, is outside the norm (whatever that is).

It was clear to us that many, many of the people in the crowd have difficult relationships with their parents or other family members, and that they yearn for better. That is heartbreaking. So here’s what I want to say: If you know someone who is estranged from a gay, lesbian or transgendered family member, now is the time to reconcile. Make a phone call, send an email. Tell them you love them. Don’t argue about sin or scripture. Make the first step. It may be the beginning of a journey that could be tough for both of you, but it is absolutely worth it. Keep trying.

And if you need it, your local PFLAG chapter is a great place to talk to people who know what you’re going through.